The Shows

Past, present and future shows from Absolutely.

The Very Old Pretenders

The Series

Series Cast:

Andrew Merron - David Haig
Denise Merron - Rebecca Front
Rab - Jack Docherty
Macdonald - Gordon Kennedy


Episode 1 - The Patriots

Anthropologist Andrew Merron attempts to introduce two Jacobite soldiers to modern notions of Scottishness. This week, in pursuit of patriotism, he takes them to a tartan shop on the Royal Mile. There, a chance encounter with a key ring brings back memories of the golden days and unlocks a great well of nationalistic feeling. But when they attend a football World Cup qualifier with Scotland taking on the tiny Dickson Isles, it all turns horribly sour.

Listen to a clip from episode 1:

Episode Cast:

Commentator 2 / Train Announcer - Jack Docherty
Shuggy McNeil / Commentator 1 - Moray Hunter
Tess McNair - Morwenna Banks

Episode 2 - In Therapy

Friction between the two Jacobite soldiers comes to a head and results in a bust-up with broadswords. This prompts anthropologist Andrew Merron to introduce them to the modern world of therapy. The two soldiers can’t agree who should have therapy first; they can’t even agree how they should decide who should have therapy first. It is only when they are forced to live separately, with a dreary cousin of Merron’s and his fussy Uncle that Rab and Macdonald start to realise each other’s true merits.

Episode Cast

Therapist - Jack Docherty
Uncle Jed - Gordon Kennedy
Dougie / Waiter - Moray Hunter
Keef Van Leer - Carl Gorham

Episode 3 - The Dating Game

Anthropologist Andrew Merron takes his two Jacobite soldiers into the world of speed - dating. There, a super confident Macdonald fails spectacularly to attract anyone whilst a nervous Rab is mistaken for the strong silent type and overwhelmed with offers. With Rab already on a date, Merron manages to fix Macdonald up with someone via the internet then succeeds in arranging a special evening out for himself and long suffering wife Denise. But far from pleasing everyone, the three dates quickly prove a nightmare for all concerned.

Episode Cast

Gail - Morwenna Banks
Speed daters - Lucy Barter / Rebecca Front / Sinead Merron
Taxi Driver/Rita - Moray Hunter

Episode 4 - On Television

With his marriage under severe strain, Andrew Merron introduces the Jacobites to the world of television. He attempts to turn the radio show he is making into a TV series and is on the verge of a deal when the executive in charge accidentally insults the Scots and they attack him with his own Bafta. A depressed Merron then finds his wife has left him and hits the bottle, introducing the men en route to the ways of modern self -pity. The picture looks hopeless till Merron finds help from an unlikely source.

Episode Cast

David Roberts - Nicholas Burns


Back to index...