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The Very Old Pretenders:

The Anthropologist and
The Anthropologist’s Wife

Andrew Merron is an obsessive and dedicated anthropologist whose job it is to integrate the two Scottish soldiers into modern society. He has previously tried to build a career through offbeat populist projects – getting tribesmen to tango and pigmies to appreciate the Eurovision Song Contest. The trouble is none of these populist projects have really been popular at all and he is still struggling around in the foothills of success after years of effort.

His long suffering wife Denise has supported him throughout but the cracks in their relationship are beginning to show. All the years of neglect, the missed social outings, the many times she has been stood up are starting to weigh heavily on her. Plus her husband has the classic obsessive’s trait of treating her like a doormat, taking her for granted, suddenly asking her to be involved in the programme and help him out without warning, without even the hint of a thank you.

Now she has had enough of the bad times. Like when he unexpectedly brought an Amazonian tribesman to come and watch her have her piles treated. Like when he thoughtlessly left her waiting for 4 hours at Didcot railway station because he was off teaching a Watusi how to use a power drill. She is tired of his job and the life it has brought them.

So the clock is ticking. The Jacobite project is his last big stab at fame and fortune and it could be the last hurrah for his marriage.


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